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Saturday, January 29, 2005
Chicken Mushroom Ramen and My Heart on My Sleeve
We were offered the chance to work through 3/31 at work. Ofcourse I said I would be available to stay until then........ I was looking diligently for jobs, but the past week has been really busy......so I've slacked off. But I am happy that I have two more months to make decisions, not stress out, and spend more times with friends I care about.
I realized last night that I haven't dreamnt about Matt in about 3 weeks. It's amazing. I would dream about him every night and then it all just stopped. The opportunity to take myself back from such a stressful relationship has been needed. I think I would fear becoming vulnerable to someone again if I didn't officially get over Matthew. And I'm definitely there................I really put up with a lot of crap when I was with him. I was in love with him, but fell out of love with him during the months leading up to the break-up. Yeah, I still loved Matthew with all my heart, but I had lost that feeling of being "in love" with him. Sometimes I fear that I will never know that feeling, truly being "in love" with someone and it be a relationship that lasts towards marriage and old age. But it will happen; that's what I tell myself. It will work out... possibly maybe (Bjork rings in my head).
Well, I just want to let everyone know that I love you. You are all amazing. I've finished up my ramen so I guess I'll stop here.
I realized last night that I haven't dreamnt about Matt in about 3 weeks. It's amazing. I would dream about him every night and then it all just stopped. The opportunity to take myself back from such a stressful relationship has been needed. I think I would fear becoming vulnerable to someone again if I didn't officially get over Matthew. And I'm definitely there................I really put up with a lot of crap when I was with him. I was in love with him, but fell out of love with him during the months leading up to the break-up. Yeah, I still loved Matthew with all my heart, but I had lost that feeling of being "in love" with him. Sometimes I fear that I will never know that feeling, truly being "in love" with someone and it be a relationship that lasts towards marriage and old age. But it will happen; that's what I tell myself. It will work out... possibly maybe (Bjork rings in my head).
Well, I just want to let everyone know that I love you. You are all amazing. I've finished up my ramen so I guess I'll stop here.