Sitting here listening to Viva Voce live on KEXP Seattle from 9/2004. Sipping on some Mint/Spearmint tea, washing clothes, burning a Bombay spice candle from Old Time Pottery, and posting here for you.

Running: Alas, I think I'm going to take my running to the streets solo. I would love to go with the group runs on Mondays and Thursdays but I am having a hard time making the distances that are elected for each week. ....too advanced for me. So for my own little schedule I am doing the following this week and next week...
Walk 1/2 mile
Jog 1/4 mile
Walk 1/4 mile
Jog 1/4 mile
Walk 1/4 mile
Jog 1/4 mile
Walk 1/4 mile
This means 2 miles will be covered total.

Food:
I made home-made dinner rolls for the first time a few weeks ago. I can't remember if I ever posted this. It was pretty fun and a very meditative thing to do on a Saturday afternoon. I'll probably try another bread-related recipe in the next few weeks....so I'll keep you posted on how that goes.
While on the phone with my Mom last night I got an asparagus casserole together, but was crushed to discover that the ritz crackers I thought I had were in fact wheat ritz. (FYI: do not use Wheat ritz for this recipe. Toasted wheat ritz end up being very dry.) So I wrapped up the casserole and stuck it in the fridge and will snag some ritz at the store today.
Here's the old Sullivan family favorite:
Asparagus Casserole
(I don't have measurements. But to give you an idea.....when I make it for myself I use a glass meatloaf sized baking dish, 4 hard-boiled eggs, 1 can of soup, 1 can of asparagus....)
Canned asparagus spears (drained)
Canned cream of mushroom soup (straight from the can, no mixing with H20/milk)
Hard-boiled eggs (deshelled and sliced by an egg slicer)
Plain ritz crackers
Butter
Salt and Pepper
Lightly butter the baking dish. Start with a thin layer of soup on the bottom. Then you will start layering. You can do two or three layers. I usually just do two since I'm just cooking for myself. Here we go...
Layer of asparagus
Few small dabs of butter
Layer of egg slices
Salt and Pepper
Layer of soup
(repeat for how ever many layers you want)
On top of the very last layer of soup you will crumble ritz to cover the top. Then drizzle melted butter over the crackers.
Bake uncovered on 350 for about 30-45 minutes (until the casserole is bubbling and the ritz have toasted).

Heart Issues: So why am I still hurt and broken hearted? It's now been 1 year and 2 months. Oh well, I will persevere. I guess one big thing is that feeling that I have lost a lot of who I am. Is it gone or will it not come out of me again until I meet the right guy? I think that people should be their own person and personality but I also think that others should bring out the positive of who you are even more. Ofcourse I don't go out or am in the position to meet new people, but so far I don't think I've met my match. I haven't gotten that feeling that someone is bringing out the best in me and visa versa. It's not something that can be forced, it has to be a natural spiritual thing. I hate to feel like I'm being forced into anything...even when someone is trying to force the best out of me. It's unnatural............I'm hoping for a natural click to happen. But first I need to get back to loving who I am first and getting the confidence in myself back that I lost over the past 5-6 years. I think I'm still that girl from years ago........the girl who loves rock shows, movies, coffee, being silly, spiritual (although I'm struggling), loves people, etc. but it's just hard when you don't have people that share those likes. It's kind of like you start forgetting who you are or something when you don't have comrads of the creative type. This is in no way saying I don't love my friends...they are the best....but I do miss doing things I like to do "with people" as opposed to alone. But ofcourse that has to be natural too....I'm not going to force people into liking things I like. Ok, rambling.......

Alright, I need to go scout out some groceries.

Running.

I finally got back on the horse and went to do my mile of 1/8's today. (walk, run, walk, run......) I didn't make it to the new runner's group run on Thursday since I had to work late. Plus, my left knee was giving me problems. So that means I did my 1/8's on Monday with the group, Wednesday with my step-sister, and then took it easy for the rest of the week. I got out and bought some running shoes on Saturday..... I totally know nothing of running shoes so I hope the guy at the running shop made a good choice. I got a pair of Brooks Adrenaline GTS. Gosh, running shoes are expensive!!!! Owell, it's been 5 years since I've purchased tennis shoes so I just bit the bullet and went for it. A friend went with me today to do the 1/8's. I had some pain in my knee while doing the 1/8's of running but luckily I'm not experiencing any tightness or swelling to the left knee like I did earlier this week.

Here's my schedule for this week. We'll see how the knee holds up. I'm not going to push myself too hard because I don't want to over do it..... They say to go 4-6 times a week but I'm going to shoot for 4.
Week 2:(4 to 6 days per week)
Start with a 5 minute warm up walk, then alternate walking & jogging and walk only half the distance of each jog, as follows:
Jog 1/4 mile (one lap) then
Walk 1/8 mile (1/2 half lap)
Jog 1/2 mile (2 laps)
Walk 1/4 mile (1 lap)
Jog 1/4 mile (1 lap)
Walk 1/8 mile (half-lap)
Jog 1/2 mile...go home

..
Why am I still up at 1:30am? Owell. I have updated my blog profile. I also have set up yahoo messenger. So if you use yahoo messenger feel free to say hey. You will find my id name on my profile page.

Here's those two poems I mentioned earlier... It's pretty wild to think this was almost 6 years ago. Maybe it will all make sense one day.
Death upon a serpant's tongue can fold
the manner away.
To embrace the things that kill your soul
-and files the presence of one's
own being under the crooked box.

"Which way is the undertoe?," screaming
little 'i' to the siren of 'me'.
Right around the corner, up there on the
bookcase...
and the pages of my flesh are torn
from the seams--
and the verbial binding of my unproven vows
of sincerity. collapse in one moment
and just to say that I have loved.
-OCT 12, 1999 B&N
c. sullivan

Terrible change of "whether"
-in all the meaning
of trying to map out inconsistency.
dwell into a seizure, in the shape
formed by two
the calling doesn't stop,
when you trying to choke your soul.
it's difficult to stop all the bleeding
for the sores in your head.
and some change of a man==
blind to unblind... for the boy.
maybe for me--
might mend all of the sores.
-OCT 12, 1999 B&N
c. sullivan