This is our Last Goodbye...

(listening to Jeff Buckley's Mystery White Boy, Live '95-'96......)

It's the most amazing night tonight. I stepped outside of my car after returning from a friend's house to rain falling on my face and a chill in the air......... It's one of those nights from college...sitting in a parked car at the Mobile museum of art, listening to cranberries, kissing your best-friend for the second time. Passionate, innocent, rain falling, and warmth of each other's face gracing the other's. Sigh........... I had a rough sleep last night. I had my first dream about Matthew in months. It was a very long dream conpiled of good and loving memories and then a turn to where Matthew breaks my heart, then I wake up. Yeah, my heart's broken but right now it mostly feels sick. Infested with disappointment, ache, and "why's".............. I wonder what he's doing, if he has moved on and is happier now without me there, why his family has not reached out to see how I'm doing, and most importantly why Matthew didn't try harder to get me back............numerous phone calls and voicemail messages didn't mean anything to me anymore. I didn't trust his words or his voice...............he needed to take action. But I guess Matt has always been known for being a "talker" in various realms (intellectually, poetically, passionately), so that's all he knew to do. I hope that this hurt goes away............

I purchased Jeff Buckley and Doves today. Jeff Buckley still blows my mind. I stumbled across him, much like I usually stumbled across music in highschool/college, by watching tv late at night my senior year of highschool(between midnight and 3 am). Well, this guy and his 3 man band were playing some small theater/bar venue with only a deep red curtain behind them. He (Jeff Buckley) was wearing a men's white v'neck undershirt, unbuttoned flannel long-sleeve shirt, jeans, and black combat boots. His hair was mid-neck length and slightly disheveled. He was a pretty average looking white guy with this cute poetic beauty to his face. So I thought that it would be like any rock show late at night.......but when he starting playing and shaking the neck of his guitar and then his voice poured out, I lost my breath. The most soulful, beautiful, passionate voice poured out of this ordinary looking guy. His stage presence was sensual and musically aggressive and he captivated all who were around him (including me)....... I remember when I first heard "Last Goodbye" was while watching this show. I cried because it was so amazing...... Thus, the reason why I always had to choose it on PickleFish's jukebox in downtown Mobile. That song has been a favorite of mine for a while. It's so sad that Jeff is no longer here.....why do all of the amazing artist's pass away....and in strange ways? Jeff Buckley passed away back in May 1997. He was in Memphis recording songs for his sophmore album. He and a bandmate went to a Memphis marina at night where Jeff had swam frequently. His bandmate was keeping track of Jeff from the embankment by talking with him.....he turned to move the radio they had brought with them......turned back around and Jeff was gone. They say that due to the waves created by boats passing through he was probably pulled underneath by the current and drowned in the Mississippi river. How sad to lose such an amazing artist and human being.................he has truly made a deep impression on music and individuals......

(rain begins to pour harder, blows out candles, the cd runs out as Jeff Buckley becomes silent, and I curl up on my bed wondering how everything is the way it has become)

goodnight and God bless you all...

KEXP and the Debates make 3!

Hola mi amigos! Buenos noches...... (yeah, I'm a goofball) People at work think I'm bilingual because I know a few sayings. Ha! Crazy that I took spanish in highschool and college and both times got to a point where I completely got confused and gave up, verbs and making sentences. It all became backwards to me. I want to learn another language really bad. Ever since I saw the film "Lost in Translation" (shameless Cindy plug, 'this is a must see film per the Cindy-Tribune'). I think I'll have to pass on spanish and try something fresh and new. I'd love to learn Japanese, Mandarin, or German (so I can watch Run Lola Run without subtitles, grin).

God Bless Chris in the gump! He has found a listener supported radio station out of Seattle!!! http://www.kexp.org/ If the tv is not on I'm listening to this station on the internet in my little apartment. I wish that I could listen to it at work. The stuff that I like (or am familiar with) usually overlaps from the time I'm at work until about 6 or 7 pm. This morning they were playing some really good stuff........ So, I'm totally obsessed with this station now and my wish to go to Seattle has grown stronger.

I'M GOING TO VOO-DOO FEST!!!!!! Despite the fact that I don't have any money and my credit card has a pretty nice balance I slowly chip away at, I am going!!! I can't take sitting around all of the time. I don't go to movies, shop for clothes (thanks for talking me into that two for one sweater sale Monica), buy cds, go out to eat, ......nothing. All because I struggle as it is to live paycheck to paycheck. And living alone again has made me rip through any savings that I had. Sigh. But 'garsh-darnit' I deserve something! So I am going with Docia and Tony this weekend. The main reason I wanted to go is because the Pixies will be playing and I may never get this opportunity. Some other bands I am stoked (surfer lingo, that's what watching MTV will do to you) to see: Ambulance LTD, The Polyphonic Spree, Snow Patrol, Gomez, Sonic Youth, the Pixies, John Digweed, and the Beastie Boys. Docia supposedly has some super-fly gangster hats for us to wear to the event.

Halloween is just around the corner. I can't wait. It's such a creative day to me. I love to see friends and strangers being creative and dressing up for a day. Last year I went as LeeLoo from Fifth Element. This year I will go as Alice from Resident Evil:Apocolypse. Yeah, I have this Milla Jovovich thing going. If I can get this scanner (looks over to the left of my desk) to work maybe I'll email some pics from last year. If you're going to be in the Mobile area on the 31st feel free to say hello, but keep in mind that I'll drop kick you if you're dressed as a zombie............sly grin.

The third presidential debate was tonight. I watched the first, missed the second, and watched the third. But I am still undecided and really don't like either candidates. I got all pumped up about voting and got re-registered and now I'm left with no resolution. Post your thoughts on the candidates. I'd be interested in what you have to say.

Genesis 8: The Flood Subsides

But God remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the cattle that were with him in the ark; and God caused a wind to pass over the earth, and the water subsided. 2Also the fountains of the deep and the floodgates of the sky were closed, and the rain from the sky was restrained; 3and the water receded steadily from the earth, and at the end of one hundred and fifty days the water decreased. 4In the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, the ark rested upon the mountains of Ararat. 5The water decreased steadily until the tenth month; in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, the tops of the mountains became visible. 6Then it came about at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made; 7and he sent out a raven, and it flew here and there until the water was dried up from the earth. 8Then he sent out a dove from him, to see if the water was abated from the face of the land; 9but the dove found no resting place for the sole of her foot, so she returned to him into the ark, for the water was on the surface of all the earth. Then he put out his hand and took her, and brought her into the ark to himself. 10So he waited yet another seven days; and again he sent out the dove from the ark. 11The dove came to him toward evening, and behold, in her beak was a freshly picked olive leaf. So Noah knew that the water was abated from the earth. 12Then he waited yet another seven days, and sent out the dove; but she did not return to him again. 13Now it came about in the six hundred and first year, in the first month, on the first of the month, the water was dried up from the earth. Then Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and behold, the surface of the ground was dried up. 14In the second month, on the twenty-seventh day of the month, the earth was dry. 15Then God spoke to Noah, saying, 16"Go out of the ark, you and your wife and your sons and your sons' wives with you. 17"Bring out with you every living thing of all flesh that is with you, birds and animals and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth, that they may breed abundantly on the earth, and be fruitful and multiply on the earth." 18So Noah went out, and his sons and his wife and his sons' wives with him. 19Every beast, every creeping thing, and every bird, everything that moves on the earth, went out by their families from the ark. 20Then Noah built an altar to the LORD, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21The LORD smelled the soothing aroma; and the LORD said to Himself, "I will never again curse the ground on account of man, for the intent of man's heart is evil from his youth; and I will never again destroy every living thing, as I have done. 22"While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, And cold and heat, And summer and winter, And day and night Shall ot cease."

Questions:
1) v. 6 Then it came about at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made;
Is this 40 days from the 150th day? The tons of references to days and months in this chapter get confusing.

2) v. 7-8: 7and he sent out a raven, and it flew here and there until the water was dried up from the earth. 8Then he sent out a dove from him, to see if the water was abated from the face of the land;
Can someone explain the significance of sending out the raven first?

3) v. 21 21The LORD smelled the soothing aroma; and the LORD said to Himself, "I will never again curse the ground on account of man, for the intent of man's heart is evil from his youth; and I will never again destroy every living thing, as I have done.
Just thought that it was interesting that the Lord smelled a 'soothing aroma' when clean animals were burned as offerings...... any thoughts on this? (being funny)-a soothing aroma to me would be vanilla or nag champa incense........

4) Please discuss why God decided at this point that he would not 'curse the ground' again on account of man. Was it the act of Noah obeying God that He solely made His decision on? Or was it that after all of this flooding and destruction God realized that due to the 'fall of man' in Eden that man really has a choice of his own to be good or bad......that God did not need to cause destruction on all men due to a few being disobedient............discuss (coffee talk accent).