Film:
I have just gotten home from seeing the most amazing film, Tarnation. I am so glad I went to see this. I don't believe I could do any justice in explaining or describing this film (documentary), so please check out the website....
http://www.i-saw-tarnation.com/
It deals with mental illness, compassion, love, etc........ Make sure you read "about the film"-synopsis, the story of tarnation, and the director's statement....to see what it's all about. I urge anyone that if they have the opportunity to see this documentary to try and check it out. Johnathan Caouette (director) created the film from footage of he and his family that he's been making since he was 11 along with pictures and answering machine messages from his mother. He created the film in a way that the audience could experience his thought patterns (which I noticed immediately) as a symptom of his own illness, depersonalization disorder (defined as a feeling of disconnection from the body and a constant sense of unreality). Kevin: the visuals of this film made me think of your music that you've been making over the past few years........I think tomorrow is the last night the Capri is playing this film. Try and check it out if you get a chance. You'll also appreciate his choice in music, low-red house painters-cocteau twins.....
Wow, it was just a really amazing thing to see......
Books:
Just finished reading "A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess. I'll have to go back now and watch the film again(directed by Stanley Kubrick). The original novel included 21 chapters, but when it was to be published in the US the New York publishers decided to exclude the final chapter. It wasn't until the mid 80's that the book was republished in America with the final chapter. Thus, when Kubrick decided to make the film he left off the final chapter as we had been used to for so long. So now I am interested to see how well the book and film feel together and the mood it leaves you in due to the 21st chapter not being included. (I will always remember Docia and I watching A Clockwork Orange back in college. We locked the doors, lit candles, drank tea....... we thought we were being so sneaky so as to not offend anyone. Silly girls we were.)
I picked up a textbook at the used book store up the street for $1.00. It is "Introduction to Philosophy, Classical and Contemporary Readings". So I might read this next.
Music:
What I've been listening to: Catherine Wheel, Coldplay (live), The Polyphonic Spree, New Order
Ah, yes....well I haven't posted in forever. The stress of my job brought me to the decision to not get on the computer as much when i get home after work. I guess it reminds me of work and the stress of wondering what I will do with myself after the end of the month. So please forgive me if you have sent an email and I have yet to reply. I do hope to catch up eventually.
I have started a canvas, if you can believe that. I am taking it extremely slow....just scribbling, glueing, or painting for 30-45 minutes once a week. These are times when I wish I owned a digital camera. So that I could walk everyone each step of the way with me.....just to feel like someone is hanging out with me while I try to create......
The thought of "social work" has been popping in my head for about two weeks now. Not sure what is going on and where it's coming from (either my mind or maybe God is trying to communicate with me). So pray for me in this area.......that if it is something outside of my own thoughts that it will become more clear to me............I fell upon the new A&E show "Intervention" Sunday night. It was insanely honest and upfront. And now with this film tonight, I wonder if these are also things backing up this social work feeling I keep getting.........
Alright. Eating ramen and drinking passion fruit juice. I love you all. Good night.
c
1 comment:
I know you well enough to know that the music you listen to usually indicates something about the vibe you're feeling. You've been listening to a lot of varied stuff lately, which indicates a lot of thought and a kind of emotional roller coaster. I suppose that's to be expected, but it isn't a bad thing.
I've been listening to a lot of stuff lately, too, but for some reason, the only lyrics I find myself sticking to are those little hands of fate that point like clocks to a time when I'll feel some sort of motion to this stagnation I've been accustomed to lately.
For instance:
Ice-age heatwave can't complain
If the world is at large why should I remain?
Walked away to another plan.
Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand
I move on to another day
with a whole new town and a whole new way
Went to the porch to have a thought.
Got to the door again, I couldn't stop.
You don't know where and you don't know when
But you still got your words and you got your friends
Walk along to another day
Work a little harder, work another way...
(Modest Mouse)
I feel, each and every time I hear this song, that my feet want to jump out of my shoes and carry me to a place other than the one I'm in.
Or how about:
Cocaine flaming my bloodstream
Sold my coat when I hit Spokane.
Bought myself a hard pack of cigarettes
In the early morning rain.
Lately my hands they don't feel like mine.
My eyes been stung with dust and grime.
Held you in my arms one time
And lost you just the same.
Jolene. I ain't about to go straight.
It's too late.
I found myself face down in a ditch.
Booze in my hair.
Blood on my lip.
A picture of you holding a picture of me
In the pocket of my bluejeans...
(Ray LaMontagne)
Damn. This one tugs at me, too, and while you know I don't do drugs or smoke or even drink enough to wind up with booze in my hair, there's a heart in this song that seems to beat in time with my own. It's a feeling of loss for no reason, and I feel, lately, that I've let a lot of things get by me that would have made my life a whole lot better.
I guess we all have our issues, some more preessing than others, but issues all. I know I'm in a sudden funk. I'll get out of it. And these are for you:
When your mind is a mess so is mine I can't sleep
Because it hurts when I think when my thoughts aren't at peace
With the plans that we make and the chances we take
They're not yours they're not mine
There are waves that can break
All the words that we said and the words that we mean
And the words can fall short, can't see the unseen
Because the world is awake so for somebody's sake
Now please close your eyes
Woman, please get some sleep.
(Jack Johnson)
G'night, sleep well.
cls
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