My day.....
I was able to get to sleep a little bit earlier last night (11:30). I've been having a really hard time getting to sleep the past few weeks. So the usual bedtime has been around 12:30 - 1:00, which is not good for my attitude and awareness the following day. I had enough time to really pick out something to wear, dry my hair, and put on make-up while listening to Mr. Waid's mixed tape he made me of late. Then I even had enough time for a somewhat real breakfast that consisted of an egg over easy, some frozen strawberries and peaches I defrosted with a sprinkle of sugar on top, and a tall glass of the iced sweet green/white-pear tea I made last night. Then I cruised to work with the windows down listening to Keane at high-volume.
Lunch was pleasant. I am finally getting to go back to my old lunch spot eating with ole Hank (park with a statue of Hank Williams at it). So I hung out on a bench under a tree-sitting on a blanket eating Subway (a BLT w/ bell peppers, onion, black olives, parmesan, and southwest sauce, cool ranch chips, and 7-up). I watched this shadow of a man sitting across the park. It was an older-stocky man--arms crossed, facing the main street that runs downtown. He hardly moved....just sat there in that same position for the time it took me to eat my lunch. So after finishing up my meal and discarding my trash, I sat back down and grabbed my book (starting to read Brave New World for the first time). I read a page, looked back up to the spot where the man had been sitting....and he was gone. Just like that, poof* / The sun warmed my back and I could feel the sun quenching my hair's desire to go to a hue of red from the brightness of the sun. The wind blew perfectly and made me feel romantic about my wonderful little lunch spot that I have missed through out the winter time.
After getting home and changing into a skirt, shirt, and flip-flops (definitely a skirt kind of day), I drove to Walmart to finally stock up on groceries. I made it to the gas station just as my gas light was developing it's orange mockery......I had planned to snag a flavored milk (ex., banana, stawberry, or blueberry) but there was none to be found. So I grabbed a water and then my eyes glided across the stocked floor to find Krispy Kreme donuts. Oh, how I miss that impulsive desire for sweets........ I grabbed a raspberry filled un-glazed donut that had a vanilla frosting on top with graham cracker-like crumbs. Oh my gosh, it was so good! so I drove to Walmart scarfing down a delicious donut.
After Walmart I cruised home with the windows down............it was amazing............I let my hand hang out the window letting the wind roll through my fingers like running your hand in a stream at night while sitting with friends. I felt free from my worries over my job, my move to Bham, my major argument with my mother last night, my feeling of inadequacy and numbness.......and just let the air stream over my arm and flowing up through my hair. Besides the autumn, this particular time of the year is my favorite. Not spring time exactly, but the beginnings....just after the pollen has fallen like a blanket and the smell of honeysuckle lingers on every trace of the air. The fresh green has taken it's role and the parks, country roads and back yards exhibit the beauty of love-making between flower and leaf. Not only are people developing love, but the plant life is overwhelmed with love and passion creating this feeling and smell of sugary sweet affection for the spring......... / On my homestretch 100.5 played some old Weezer and the Smiths.....it just felt like God was giving me a break today. A break from feeling insignificant. So he gave me all of these things to take in....sight, taste, touch, smell, sound..............
Oh, if I could have more days like today......
Currently listening to:
It's how high you are and the time it takes to heal
It's how high you are and the time it takes to heal
I can climb a tree and push up through the leaves 'cos
Only when i try am I happier to see
My head's in some kind of space where boyhood used to be
It's how high you are and the time it takes to heal
But it's all a lie and I've never felt so sad
There's a streak of melancholy running down my back
And there's a great mistrust that borders round the man
I call it strange from a boy who never left his head
It's how high you are and the time it takes to heal
And everyone needs someone to live by
Eveyone needs someone to live by
But it's all a lie, It's a lie to make you beg
For something more for something better than you've had
And I wish i knew
I wish I knew how to change
'Cos everyone needs someone to live by
Everyone needs someone
Everyone needs someone to live by
Everyone needs someone
Everyone needs someone
It's how high you are and the time it takes to heal
-Heal, by the Catherine Wheel
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