Well, I got a good bit done today.....I guess. The fact that my apartment is still not together is a bother, but all in due time. I finally tossed a plant that just wasn't going to make it by my chartreuse (not exactly green) thumb......I'm not the best with gardening so if it's not a hearty plant, it may soon join the others in plant heaven. Ha! I still have three so I'm doing pretty good. I vacuumed the living room, moved my chair and couch (yes, I moved a couch all by myself-'cindy flexs girl muscles'), and laid out a seafoam colored rug. Now to dismantle the ole entertainment center so that I can get it to Goodwill along with a few other things. I finally found a wreath hook for my door. So I spray-painted it black and now my glorious "made by Cindy" wreath adorns my front door, woo-hoo!
I'm slowly trying to make this space a home eventhough no place has felt like home in a long while.
Caught some hip-Christian talk/Conan O'Brien esque show on one of the Christian channels tonight. Really weird. I just haven't related with the Christian sect in a while. If any of my old friends are reading this, are you suffering this syndrome also? Is this what is making (and has made me for the past few years) feel lost and/or separated from the church/Christ? Is it because I just don't relate? I think the pop-culture of Christianity started losing me around the time of all the big worship rallies/festivals and the twenty-million contemporary praise and worship albums that came out towards the end of my college career. It's like every church service is like one big praise and worship rally. Don't get me wrong, praise and worship is important....but I've got to where i'd just rather sit in someone's living room, chilling out, and having an actual bible study. Where you actually study the bible........not some self-help quote or story to help you understand what the bible and/or Christ is trying to tell you. It seems like the church has been so focused on happity-doo-dah let's sing contemporary praise and worship songs for an hour that I don't get a chance to learn about God. I guess it felt like I was just at church to hear how beautiful my voice was or how well my and my pew neighbor can harmonize or outsing each other. So I just quit looking for a church.
Alright time for a little tv and then off to sleep. Keep your thoughts and prayers on those still waiting for help in LA, MS, and AL. I love all of you guys. Thank you for looking out for me Christ....I know you are still keeping an eye on me-even when I feel cut-off from those feelings I used to have.
c
4 comments:
i agree 1000%!...i've never enjoyed going to youth groups (excepting st. mark which was fantastic, open, and real) because they made me feel like a total geek or outsider...because i listened to "evil music" and wasn't outgoing...i think the whole problem with the whole "ccm" phenomena and youth group culture is that you really are seperating yourself from the rest of the world...which isnt necessarily bad but if your mission in life is to tell others about what you believe and try to get them to leave their lives of vices and have a more "traditional" lifestyle, well it's useless to just hang out with fellow "believers"...as much as i disagree with a lot of conservative/christian beliefs, i still believe in Jesus and everything in the bible being "real" but i do think their is a lot of truth to some other "sects"...everything paranormal related is true...and it further proves that God/Jesus/satan/etc are all real and involved in everyone's lives...but as far as all this ccm stuff...i get infinitely more out of listening to "mercury" by the prayer chain than even going to church...i guess because i relate to it but also the music is so phenomenal that the lyrics could be anything and i'd still like it...mainstream ccm music is just bad pop music with overly simplified christian beliefs...they say they're honest and doing a great service but it really just seems like they're using the code words to make more $$$...the episode of south park where cartman starts a christian band (to make lots of money) is a perfect example of what i'm trying to say...
Hey, Cindy. I feel for you about the happity-do-dah feelgoodness of most southern churches. Sherry and I are lucky to have found a small church here in Madison (Sodom of the prairie, of all places) where we can dig deep into the Bible and do the work of Christ without that kind of emotional manipulation on Sunday morning.
But even here most churches are like what you describe, and the local Christian radio station plays 99% praise and worship (and 10% whatever is on the countdown show that week), along with the tagline "family-friendly radio"—which can be translated as "if it sounds like rock we won't play it because we know there are reactionary KJV-1611 types out there who think guitars are of the devil".....well maybe that's stretching it a little bit, but that's how it sounds to me sometimes. They do play a lot of Rich Mullins, and some of the newer worship songs were penned by Steve Hindalong.
Personally I think people have forgotten what the Bible says worship is in Romans 12: to present our bodies as living and holy sacrifices(and all that follows in that chapter). As I recall, there is no mention of singing for an hour or even feeling good all the time.
Anyway, that's where I am at the moment.
Cindy,
I couldn't agree more. I have never like the praise and worship mess, and I still don't. My ladies Bible study and SS class was the only place I got any spritual nurishment community wise because, I feel as you, that most church services I have attended recently have no depth whatsoever. Suprisingly the new pastor at FBC Dothan is pretty cool, though. If only we had had him in high school... Liturgical worship appeals more and more to me, but I still mostly yearn for deap digging in the Word with friends and good long discussions like those from back when on the front porch. Now we are off to France, and I am actually slightly releaved that I will not have to deal with American church for a while. Of course, I am also scared since church will be just me and Bryon until something gets started. Hopefully, the plan we have to start something will start something a little more "real" than what I am used to seeing in American churches at the moment. Discipleship and accountability is to be stressed within small communities. I think it sounds ideal. We will see how God works.
We will be in B'ham in two weeks. I'd like to visit if possible. I'll try out the only phone number I have for you from way back when soon to see if it still works.
R
Eek! You mean some of the people that I thought had it all together church/Christianity-wise have discomforts with churches?! I guess that's why I don't really talk to a lot of my college friends as much because I feel less than since I don't have that fuzzy God feeling in me all the time. It's good to hear that others feel the same way with the state of the church as it is currently.
Kevin: totally agree with the Mercury listening thing. Give me some Prayer Chain, Radiohead, or Polyphonic Spree and I'll get more out of it spiritually than singing a chorus of "yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord."
Phil: I think you said it best with describing it as "emotional manipulation on Sunday morning". It's like if I do go to a service, if I don't get that "feeling" within me I start to wonder if I believe in God at all or if I'm saved anymore.
Rachel: You pin-pointed a core of the problem- services having no depth what-so-ever. I'm not saying that I'm more intelligent than anyone else, but come on-how many times can I hear a 15-minute sermon about nothing?! Does this mean I'm a seasoned Christian and need more meat than what is preached on Sunday mornings? I guess services are actually there to bring visitors that are lost to Christ so they have to make it a more general sermon.
It just seems like the church has faded into this "hey how you doin' on Sunday" thing with no real discipleship and comradery. But I can't talk, because I don't go to church. So maybe what I'm saying is not true of the church. hmmmmmmmm
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