One Month Down

So it's been just over a month since I started Lexapro. I was so afraid of being on medication but now my opinion has changed. This is a personal opinion for myself. Everyone is different. I am not saying that Lexapro is a wonder drug that everyone should jump on just because they are down and out. But I've tried overcoming my sadness for years (felt like this since I was 12 years old and been trying to do something about it for the past 8 years) and I finally gave it to God on the medication debate. I asked a few co-workers (one of which started Lexapro a month before me) to keep an eye out for me and let me know any pros or cons in my behaviour. And what they told me is that they could tell a difference in just week 2 of me taking the medicine. They say after two weeks you will start seeing improvement and after 4 weeks you get the full benefits. But everyone has told me that after just 1.5-2 weeks the change was extremely positive. And this is just from taking the lowest dosage of 1mg!!! I have no idea if I need to take Lexapro permanently. I guess that is something I need to talk over with my counselor during my next visit. Plus, my first prescription through my gynecologist is for 3 months. So I guess next month I'll need to find out if I should go through the gynecologist or a family doctor in order to continue using the medication.

Here is a quick run down of pros and cons I and others have seen from me being on Lexapro:
CON: okay so only one con. This is the only side effect I've had after the first week of getting my body used to the medicine.
-I go to the restroom more (or tinkle to be exact). The drug info states that Lexapro can lower your sodium level. And we all know that sodium helps you retain water. So on some days I seem to make more trips to the restroom than usual. But it's nothing major. It's just some days I can tell that I have to go more frequently. The only time that is constant is I have to wake up in the middle of the night (usually around 3am) and make a trip to the restroom. Before, when I did finally fall asleep, I wouldn't go to the restroom again until the morning. So I count this con as a small one. It just gives me more of a reason to eat bad for you salty foods. ha

PRO:
-I'm a lot funnier. I was silly and goofy before. But now it's like I'm more comfortable with being funny.
-I feel comfortable in my skin. I feel good about who I am and being okay with myself.
-I SLEEP!!!! Oh my goodness, that has been the most positive change of them all. My immediate family is known for being the night owl type. Late night seems to be the time when our brains kick in. I have the hardest time falling asleep. Sometimes I will lay down and toss and turn awake until 3:30am when I finally fall asleep. Even when I do fall asleep at a decent time like 11:30pm, I have the hardest time getting up in the morning. I used to run off of 5-6.5 hours of sleep. This year I finally got it down to 7 hours with every couple of weeks doing the 4-5.5 hours restless night thing. But now it's a whole new world. Lexapro doesn't make me tired per se. But I guess it cuts off the edge of anxiety that would put my mind into overdrive and not allow me to sleep. Now I get to sleep any time between 11pm-11:15pm. Sleep through the night. If I do wake up to use the restroom, I fall asleep shortly after laying back down. Then I wake up refreshed at 6:15am. Getting sleep for over a month now has been amazing!!!
-I actually want to be creative again. I've been thinking about painting the past week or so. So I may have to pick that back up again and see if the medicine has helped to reopen that door of thought again.
-I am less stressed. I have a pretty stressful job at work. 4 months ago I was given the duty of waging employees' paychecks. Well, needless to say the person that was doing the job before was doing a bad job so management wanted to move me into the job. It has been a really rocky time. So add on the fact that I emotionally go up and down on a weekly basis would lead me into a meltdown (at work sometimes) on a weekly basis. Finally getting things in order and fixing the past persons mistakes has helped but Lexapro has really made a difference. I haven't had a meltdown in a month and I don't let the stress get to me anymore. I am much more efficient and organized at work. I was already known for being an organized good worker but now I don't have to work at it.....it just comes naturally. And I actually enjoy what I do at work now.
-My OCD has gotten better. Yep, I realize I have some minor issues. Most of which are stemmed from things growing up. Here are the things I do......check locks several times after locking a door, checking stove/oven/iron/dryer often because I can't remember or don't believe I've turned them off, check candles frequently bc I don't believe I blew them out, reread letters i write to people bc i think i've written something crazy (yes, that one is crazy that just started a year ago....really embarrassing to admit this one but it really is pretty funny), and so on and so forth. Lexapro has helped with this.......including that I am forcing myself to check things once and then let it go. I was no way near the intensity or frequency of someone that really has OCD but it was starting to get a little annoying.
-I enjoy life more.

-I let things go that bug me.

-I see the positive more often than the negative.

-I feel like there is a future for me and that I deserve good things.

-I am more comfortable talking with people and take an effort to be more extroverted.

So that's me in a nutshell the past month. I'll keep you posted on how the next month goes. Thanks for all your prayers. And hopefully me posting my experiences will help someone else that may be dealing with the same uncertainty.