So I am having a really hard time at work. I worry that my inner attitude of irritation is starting to come out so that others can see, which I don't want to happen. I don't really know who I can trust at work even when one of my co-workers is spilling their views of people in the workplace. One of my main issues is with my supervisor. Don't get me wrong she is very knowledgeable and gets things done......but I think she is one of the most confusing and inconsistent people I know. At first I thought that I just didn't understand her "language". That maybe I just wasn't getting what she was saying and that it was my issue not hers............. but deep down I don't think that's the case. In regards to procedures, she will say one thing and then the next day she will give you a totally different answer. A lot of the judgment calls she makes on things are very haphazard and without thinking how her decisions will pan out. So she'll make a decision one day, then have to change it a few hours later, then change it back, and then the next day we'll have to redo everything we did before because she finds out that the choice she made is not thought out in terms of how it will affect other departments or employees.
I really got fed up today. She came by my desk since I am one of only two people who have access to our old company's payroll system. She had an email (and received a phone call earlier in the day) from a manager about an incentive pay someone received back in 2004. So she specifically asked me, "Can you look to see which check this incentive pay posted on last year since you have access to the old system? Here is the person's id number, the amount of the incentive, and it should have posted around september or october." That's all she said. She did not explain to me why I needed to find this check. She just asked me to find it. So I think, "Oh, this will be easy! I just need to find the check it posted on, print it out, and give it to her." So when I walk into her office smiling as I show her the check the money posted on she starts discussing tax repayments, so on and so on. So she goes on and on talking and asking what I calculated this person's repayment amount as and I had to stop her. I said, "oh wait a minute. Maybe I misunderstood, I apologize. I thought you asked me to just find the check in which the incentive posted (which is what she asked me to do). I did not realize that you wanted me to calculate the repayment based on how much he paid in tax and how much he has already paid back." (I was ticked. This is what she always does. She asks you to do something specific then later she acts like she asked you something different.) I had no idea what she was talking about as usual. So I decided to just wait until one of the payroll reps came back from lunch to help me (this payroll rep being the other person with access to this system). I told her what happened and she helped me and personally gave it to our supervisor. The girl that helped me (she is basically next in rank to the supervisor) has talked with me twice about how she disagrees with a lot of what our supervisor says. She thinks that a lot of her decisions are not very legal and/or consistent with policies.
It just stinks when you feel like you can't trust anything your supervisor tells you to do. Or you don't understand a word she is saying. My irritation is starting to show at work and I worry that if I talk about my frustrations it will get around. I've only mentioned my feelings to one or two girls (and they agree with me) but I don't feel like I can truly trust anyone. I guess I got this from the last department I worked in. I worked with a lot of mean, back-stabbing people that would turn on you publicly in a second. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How will I learn anything about payroll from a supervisor who fails to recognize that I'm new and am just learning payroll, that doesn't make a lick of sense to me, and who is extremely inconsistent in what she tells people?! Atleast I have the person that helped me today. She is very knowledgeable and I can go to her any time I am confused. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my supervisor as a person. I just don't agree with her management skills and inconsistency. I caught her telling one of the reps something today that contradicted a procedure she told us before. When the rep brought it to her attention she said, "Oh yeah, you're right. Keep doing what you've been doing." I just shook my head inside and thought, "There we go again.........she's telling us something different as usual." My supervisor will be retiring at the end of the year........lets hope I can make it that long without having a nervous breakdown.
Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.
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