Well as some of you know, I was let go on 3/31/2005. No worries, my department was aware of this about a year ago. With this past years series of events (my break-up, losing job, lease coming due in June) I decided to look for employment outside of Montgomery.
I have been given the chance to be rehired with Regions Bank in their payroll department (which I accepted today). I'll start training here in Montgomery on Monday and then will move up to Birmingham AL by 5/30/2005.
I'm kind of excited and kind of not. So many people are losing their jobs now-a-days so I am very thankful to be able to work and take care of myself. What's the flip-side of this? It's that I don't know what in the world I'm doing! (trying to be funny) Since I graduated from college I have moved several times, become disconnected from "the church", experienced an emotionally draining relationship, etc etc etc. Sometimes I just feel the overwhelming feeling that I don't know what to do with myself and feel unfulfilled.
I'm not overly excited about moving to Birmingham, but it's probably the best thing for me to do now. I feel like I'm taking a "blind leap of faith" because I have reached a point of uncertainty. Although I don't feel that close to God as I once was, I prayed that if I was supposed to get this job I would. -Praying that moving to Birmingham would atleast be the first of many doors that would begin opening to that meaningful life I have been missing for a while now. I have enjoyed being here in Montgomery but I know the only thing I have here are my friends that I love a lot. Montgomery is a very odd-town that I don't necessarily fit in with. I'm quirky and fun-loving, while Montgomery is oppressing and critical. I know Birmingham is not that much better, but I have to take baby-steps right now if I want to eventually move to somewhere I'd feel free (like Nashville, Seattle, etc). I knew that I wasn't supposed to move back to Mobile, but I hope that whatever city I settle in will have the warmth that I miss so much from Mobile. There you can be creative, free, hopeful, quirky, relaxed, outside, grounded, positive, loving, etc. And that's the type of place that I hope to find someday. I've lost some of myself here in Montgomery. It could be because of the relationship I had here, but I think it's just how a lot of Montgomery is-------critical, negative, sarcastic, close-minded, un-emotional, left-brain, literal, indoors, pragmatic, etc. (sorry to vent).
Please pray for me. I want so badly to find that peaceful, joyful, light-hearted side of myself again. Also (as always) please pray for my art that is slowly starting up again-----and my recent interest in social work. If you have anything you'd like me to pray about, please feel free to post it in the comments or email me directly.
I love you all. You are all amazing to me........ c
3 comments:
Congrats on the job! At least you will be near family, and B'ham is beautiful. There are also lots of great churches, and great concerts happen there. When we are back in Bama, we will have to visit you, so make sure that you give us your new contact info. Yeah! It's always fun to move and do something new. I'll be praying for you.
R
that's awesome about the job!! at least that's one thing less to worry about and that's huge because now you can let yourself think about what you truly want and how to get there. having a job is a huge relief and one of the most freeing things that can happen.
as far as cities go, have you ever thought about portland, oregon? this is the most freeing place i have ever been...even more than seattle in my opinion. you can literally do anything you want, dress any way you want, be homeless, be wealthy, and nobody cares or looks at you differently. when jennifer and i were up there last summer, we were eating lunch in pioneer square downtown one day waiting on her brother to meet us. well, this is a gathering place during the lunch hour and you literally see homeless and business suits sitting next to each other playing chess with each other. there are no social norms or boundaries here. even though seattle has a huge subculture of very creative people, i felt more freedom in portland. just something to throw out there for you. maybe since you'll have a job, you could save up and travel out there for a few days just to check it out.
well, now i'm just rambling so i'll stop.
it sucks you'd have to move, in a way...though, i dont know...circumstances or whatever has meant we havent hanged out much the whole time you're been here...birmingham isnt all that far away though...anyway, you said to post any prayer requests, etc...so i know i have to go back to UAB in may and get some kind of help for my endless health problems...you can refer to my xanga, for details (probably in one of the older posts, i dont know)...
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